24 Weeks...I am still amazed.

Every few months I write a post that starts with apologies for the long silences between blogs. No more apologies. Apparently, this is who I am as a blogger. Sporadic, and mildly dependable at best. I'm going to be okay with that.

But here are some updates on what's happened in the past month.

The shower game is over. I tried it out this morning for the first time in a long time, and I found that no matter how far forward I bend, my pieces are just no longer visible without the use of a mirror. Which at this point is a sight I can probably do without anyway.

I've started experiencing those coveted, random acts of kindness towards pregnant women that I was beginning to think only existed in mythology. I have to admit that upon discovering I was pregnant, I was really looking forward to this star treatment. And then kind of bummed when it didn't happen right away. But now, most people are nice. Probably because they feel sorry for my waddle. The one exception is the grocery store. Why are people always so terribly rude in the grocery store? It does not matter how much I waddle, or how much I hold my aching back as I meander down the aisle, people still shove past with nary an "excuse me." Well people, I will remember that when I'm waltzing down the aisle with two cute babies in a few months, and you want to coo at them and ask me whether they're boys or girls. Payback's a bitch.

The most exciting recent development, which probably relates to the whole kindness from strangers thing, is that my belly has become unmistakeably, hugely massive. And I love it.

The day I found out I was pregnant...

A few weeks later...
Later still...
...And later (I will need to become a better historian when these babies are born...dates, weeks, or even months might be nice...)

And just a few weeks ago...
The babies are growing.

So this is pregnancy.

Here's what happens in the life of a neurotic post-infertile pregnant lady when she's not over-analyzing her life.

I have indigestion today for the first time as a pregnant lady. I am thrilled to have indigestion. Really.

I was warned not to get "What to Expect When You're Expecting." But a friend loaned me a copy, and god I was too curious to pass it up. To be honest, I thought there might be some really juicy pregnancy secrets in there. There's not. Just a lot of talk about gas and discharge and whether or not I'll have insecurities about my changing figure. And while the book is more histrionic than anything else, "What to Expect" has me expecting (and oddly enough, wanting) indigestion.

So now that I have it, I feel normal. And sort of burny in the chest area.


I have been battling a weevil infestation. In my house, not my body. Let's be clear on that. Either way, I am disgusted and hateful towards weevils. I swear my house is clean. Yet I have these crawly little brownish-black things all over my counter tops and in my cereal boxes. This weekend I emptied out all of my food cabinets in a passionate anti-weevil campaign. I threw away half my pantry supplies which has resulted in me becoming a hungry-grumpy pregnant lady for much of the week. If you haven't cleaned out your food cabinets lately, well. Let's just say you might be surprised at what you find festering in there. On my part, I found many gems, the best of which was a gallon bag of steel cut oats that had majestically transformed into a gloppy mess of green mold and weevil larvae. Oatmeal, anyone?



I am patiently waiting for random acts of kindness from strangers. I've heard that being pregnant brings on hoards of people just falling over themselves waiting to be kind and loving toward you. Not so much for this girl. Not that anyone has been unkind, per se. Except for that one day when a co-worker looked at me and said, "god, you're fat." That was not so much kind. But otherwise, people just treat me kind of normal. Like the girl in the grocery store parking lot who almost ran me down today as I waddled to my car.



I have a new game I use to entertain myself and remind myself of just how amazingly pregnant I am. I have given this game the uber-creative moniker, "the shower game". Here's how it goes: every day when I take a shower, I make my back all straight and correct-postured. Then I bend forward at the waist while keeping my back straight. I bend bend bend until I can see all my pieces. Once I've positively identified all my pieces, I make a mental note of my waist angle. A couple of weeks ago when I started this little game, I was at about a 25 degree angle. These days, I'm at about 35 degrees. I find myself looking forward tremendously to 45 degrees. 90 degrees would be neat too. Except that by the time I get that big, I have a feeling that I'll need some weird sort of mirrored contraption to find all my pieces. And I probably won't be able to get back up. And then my husband will find me all stuck and bent in the shower. And I'll have to admit to him my little shower game.

I bet I'll be a neat mom.