Bunny heads.

I'm supposed to be cleaning my house right now.  I promised myself I would clean today.

Instead, I'm sitting here with one baby sleeping on my lap, the other sleeping in the swing.  This is my slow transition to scheduled nap time.  In a crib.  We're taking baby steps.  I'm on the step called "any damn sleep will do."

I have two little toy bunny blankets shoved inside my bra.

I'd first like to point out that while these little toy bunny blankets are very cute, there's no way to describe them without making them sound horrifying.  I wanted the babies to each have a "lovey," or, less cutely, a "transitional object" to help them self-soothe during separations.  Like nap time.  Cause I keep my eye on the ball.

For mother's day, I got a gift card to Amazon.com.  I thought and thought about what I wanted to buy.  Each time I'd visit, I'd start by checking out running watches or Bare Minerals makeup (I'm intrigued) and land on baby clothes and baby toys.  So I did the martyr mother thing.  I used my mother's day gift to buy the babies loveys.  Organic loveys, because really, everything is better when it's organic. Each lovey consists of a soft terrycloth bunny head attached to a flannel blanket.  Apparently, these "transitional objects" are going to soothe my babies when I'm away.  I'm not sure which part of the animal head sewn onto a blanket is supposed to remind my babies of their loving mama.

Hence the bunnies in my bra.  What I lack in resemblance to a bunny head, I intend to make up for in scent.

I'm hoping that if somebody shows up at my door, I remember to remove the bunnies prior to answering it.

I'm also clinging to the hope that these bunnies will help my babies to sleep - if only just a little.  But I'm also hoping that they will help my babies feel like mama is with them when I'm at work.

I've gone back to work.

My heart is broken.

Wednesday

I've become totally unproductive at work. I feel a slight pride in this fact. If you're going to be unproductive, you might as well do it full out.

I am now the proud home to six good sized eggies, and quite a few mini-eggies. These eggies are high maintenance eggies. They require my full attention at all times, thus my new lackluster work ethic. With the slightest prompting from a good humored family member, I've now named the eggies. There's Steve, Marty, River, Isaiah, Whitey, and Claudette. Claudette's a fiesty one.

Yesterday I took the day off to bond with my eggies. We slept until 11am, woke up, and went to bed again at 2pm. We practiced Qi Gong breathing, some fertility yoga, a little accupressure, and indulged in a little Ben and Jerry's for good measure.

Today I took my eggies to work. We didn't get much accomplished. On my way home, I took to talking to my eggies. I made sure to stop each time I passed a pedestrian, lest they should think I've gone crazy.

So, here I am. Talking to my ovaries and shooting up hormones like it's my damn job. There is no normalcy when you're trying to grow a baby in a petri dish.