Thursday, December 10, 2009

Today.

A little irony: me, sitting in the car outside of our local natural foods store, scarfing down a Whopper as fast as I can chew.

Not appreciated? Was the guy in the silver Honda next to me, shooting looks of judgement and disgust in my direction.

So listen up, you pretentious prick, lest you should be reading:

That's right. I was eating a Whopper. A big, fat, juicy Whopper. With mayonnaise, in-humanely raised beef, and processed cheese product. Whilst sitting outside a store that sells wholesome, organic and delicious food. With my two fussing babies in the backseat.

Yes, that was me.

You know why?

Because I forgot to eat. That's right. Forgot. All day.

And at 2pm, I got hungry.

Insane, nursing-two-babies on zero calorie input, put some EFFING nourishment in my stomach, HUNGRY.

Because somewhere, in the midst of changing poopy diapers, begging my children to take naps, and creating miraculous, edible milk-product from my breasts, I got distracted and forgot not only to eat, but to brush my teeth as well.

So judge away, Honda Man.

For what it's worth, I think it's thoroughly ironic to sit in judgement outside of a natural food store, so I suppose we sit in irony together.

That damn Whopper was good.

***

Yes, one of my children spit up copious amounts of breast milk once we were within the safely organic walls of said store. No, I am not a responsible mother and did not have any appropriate items with which to clean said spit up. Yes, I used the sleeve of my jacket instead. Looks of judgement? Yes.

8 comments:

Jilliane said...

HAHAHA I love it!

Anonymous said...

He must be single...........no parent would judge anything you just described. And anyone who does NOT enjoy a Whopper has something seriously wrong with them (in my humble opinion). Good For You!
(when I was pregnanant - I had a Whopper addiction - only I got mine with extra mayo!)

Daryl said...

HA! Tell anyone who judges they are welcome to try mothering twins ... pfffit to them ..

2Shaye ♪♫ said...

Oh April, I totally understand the forgetting to eat. Chasing my three little ones around all day often lands me in the same position. My husband will come home and ask me how in the world I can forget to do something so important. Hey, at least the kids are fed, diapers changed, clothed (some times), and they're relatively happy. Forgetting to eat is really an easy thing to do. And once you realize that you're hungry, you just have to eat the quickest, easiest thing in sight. LOL

I sorta disappeared from cyberspace for a while, so I hope you remember who I am. It's nice to see you again!

Anonymous said...

Way to stick it to "the (Honda) man"

xoxo

Ursula

Teresa said...

Delurking just to say that I STILL forget to eat and brush my teeth from time to time, even now that my little one is 10 months old, on a predictable nap schedule and can even happily play independently thereby freeing me up to actually complete a household chore once in a while. LMAO thinking of you in the parking lot, remembering sensing the same feeling of judgmental eyes for any number of crazy things I may be doing at the moment. But I finally came to the happy conclusion that probably all of that judgment is only perceived on my part-that it's really my perfectionist self that is sending judgment and that most people don't give a flying flip what I am doing in my car or in the aisle of the grocery store or anywhere else. And if they actually do care, I will continue to dwell in blissful ignorance, knowing that I would give my left arm and leg for my child and that I'm doing the very best I can.

Olga Tolbert said...

I enjoyed your post. Yes in times of survival we do what we can. When I am pregnant and in Europe, the only thing that is fast and east and not weird is McDonalds, and I have used my sleeve to wipe my kids nose. Only someone who is a mother could understand.

Other Mother said...

Thanks for sharing.

And another thing: BK has a *drive-thru*. I've though to myself on the days I didn't eat, on the days when my kids are unmanageable outside of their restraints, "now if that burrito shop had a drive-thru, I'd totally go there, but NO, I'm stuck with the heat lamp burger. Which IS delicious."

Those organic wholesome stores would do well to offer some curbside service for desperate and hungry mothers. The dude would do well to keep his judgment to his own damn self.