Friday, March 25, 2011

39 weeks.

I'm 39 weeks today. 

This is a weird feeling, considering my last pregnancy ended abruptly with the emergency delivery of Rhys and Quin at 33 weeks. 

As of my appointment with the midwife today, the baby is no longer breech...following a week that consisted of three visits with a chiropractor who specializes in the Webster technique, lots of DIY moxibustion, a heavy dose of Pulsitilla, hours of inversion, and a totally fast, painless, and successful version.  I'm so thankful that we're back on course for the VBAC, even if I am still reeling from the stress of the situation and dealing with it like an uninhibited ninety-year old woman with a knack for saying all the inappropriate things that cross her mind and no thoughts of apologies. 

Now we wait.

On the one hand, I love the waiting.  I have something awesome about to happen - I don't know when or how or what it will be like, but at this point birth is pretty much a guarantee.  Though I did see a TLC show once about a woman who had been pregnant for something like sixty years.  But that unfortunate woman aside, this kind of feels like when you have a box full of maple sugar candy in front of you and not even one has been nibbled yet, and you know you're about to go hide in a corner somewhere and just gorge yourself.  The delicious anticipation.  If you're not from a maple sugar candy area, I'm sorry.

And then on the other hand, there's the reality that the time between now and delivery may seem short to those who are not carrying an extra human being in their womb while chasing two toddlers around all day, but for those of us who happen to be in that boat, well, OH MY GOD HOW AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH NEXT WEEK BECAUSE THE DAYS ARE SOOOO LONG AND THERE IS STILL SNOW ON THE GROUND AND THE WEATHER ISN'T LOOKING LIKE WE'LL BREAK THE FORTY DEGREE MARK IN THE NEXT FIVE TO SEVEN DAYS.

And I want to see her.  I want to see her eyes, and whether or not she has hair, and if she looks like Rhys or Quin or Kyle or me or none of us...I want to experience this birth process that I've been fascinated with for as long as I can remember...

I'm so close and so far.  I try to settle in and remember that it's always more exciting to have the full box of maple sugar candy rather than just the empty wrappers with a few maple crumbs in the corner of the box, but then I remember that that's a terrible metaphor because in this case instead of empty wrappers I get an actual baby that I get to keep.

So there's that.

I thought writing might help me find a nice Zen place.  Instead I find that since I rarely write anymore, I'm rusty, which means my writing is 1. of poor quality and 2. hardly satisfying.

Instead of some nice Zen insight, I offer a crude summary:
  • Baby is, at this point, head down. 
  • VBAC plans are, at this point, a go. 
  • I am, at this point, excited and anxious as shit.

8 comments:

Jasmine said...

The waiting sucks--but its worth it in the end. If you can still sleep appreciate that, because it may be several months (years?) before you get that chance again.

Also, don't get too anxious and rush to the hospital. If you really want to pull off a VBAC in a conservative hospital labor at home until you are really moving along.
Good luck. We're all thinking of you guys.
-Jasmine

Grade A said...

Woohoo!!! That's great news. Love the maple candy metaphor.

Magsy

jade said...

This brought back some very vivid memories of my own waiting game 2 months ago!
I hope your vbac works out :D

Pamela said...

Good luck! I hve been quietly following your blog for quite some time.
I just wanted to second the idea that you should stay at home as long as you can handle.
With my first I popped into the hospital to be checked (I was at 2cm) then went home and laboured in the tub. I stayed in the tub through transition (I would probably have used gas at that point in hospital) then went to the hospital, she ws crowning, and I hd her 15 minutes after arrival.

My point being (there is one, I swear!) that depending on how close you are to the hospital (I was 10-15 minutes away), and how you personally feel, labouring at home is a great way to ensure a relaxed birthing experience once you are at the hospital. :)
Good luck again!

Jenny said...

Glad she turned! The chiropractor has helped me too. I know what you mean on enjoying the waiting but having two other kids to chase. Mine are different ages though, and at least our weather has been nice lately. My big issue is that I tend to overdo things so everything will be "perfect." I need to pare down my to-do list.

TempestBeauty said...

I'm glad she turned!

And I also love the metaphor.

May I make a suggestion? Don't go reading birth stories right now. I did, right before my own natural birth, and it shook me out of my zen place... and scared the crap out of me.

Just remember, you are amazing and powerful. You can do it. I can't wait to read about it. :D

KellyNaturally said...

Wonderful news! Both of my babies were persistantly breech as well, though my 1st turned last minute, after trying everything. I am SO glad yours has turned! :)
Just a little bit longer...

WannabeMommy said...

Now I really want to try some maple candy.