Tomorrow is my five year wedding anniversary. Well, not just my anniversary. Go figure, it's my husband's also. I struggle with this issue of language in my blog. Whether to say I or we. Mine or ours. Me or us. Partly because I am the author and don't want to speak for him, to drag him into my crazy ramblings. But partly because he's private and I respect that. I tease that people must read my blog and think that I'm a single parent, or that I make all the decisions, or that he's just not that involved. Until today. Happy anniversary, babe. I'm breaching your privacy.
I fell in love with Kyle in high school. We started off casually dating and making good use of empty parking lots. I had no idea I was falling in love until one day in study hall I sat watching him and noticed that he had gone from being just a boy to being a boy who glowed. A luminescent, golden glow. Regular high school boys do not glow. Not before you love them.
We dated for the next six years, and when I was finally certain that it would never happen, he asked me to marry him. I said yes.
Never in my life have I ever been so sure of anything as I have always been of Kyle. He is the most perfect human being I have ever known. He's good at life.
He is quietly confident and confidently quiet. He is proud, sensitive, and determined. He is the best listener. He never just tries - he does. He is fiercely loyal and wiser than he'll take credit for.
He cooks dinner.
Through infertility he stood by me, carried me, dragged me, pushed me, pulled me, saved me and saved me again.
He gives me the big piece whenever we share something good.
He is genuine, honest, and beautifully good.
As a father, he is unfailingly patient. When the babies were born and I couldn't be with them, he stayed with me until I was okay and then rushed to be by their side. He stood vigil over them in their little isolettes for over five hours telling them to fight and be strong. He is even more magnificent as a father than I'd ever imagined. He changes diapers, reads books, sings lullabies, wears a Moby wrap, tickles, plays, and wakes up with us at 3am. He holds us steady and strong as a family.
We've been married for five years, together for twelve. I still have a crush on this man.
A thousand times over, I am a better person because of him.
I love this journey.