August

So I realize that last night's post was crap. I'm a bit rusty. Sort of like the tack that punctured the ball of my foot last weekend. Yummy.

If my blogging talents (which I realize far surpass those of most common bloggers) seem a bit rusty as well, please note that I'm writing at midnight. After a glass of wine. And a nap. And a day longer than I care to realize. Yet I cannot keep myself away. I'm a blog addict. A bladdict. Or blog-dic.

So while "Prius vs. Sentra" is a fairly present part of my life right now, it's not the only part. Sure, my car has a low dangling front bumper. (BK knows something about that.) And now a similarly low dangling back bumper. Basically, my car has a FUPA. And an FBPA. The B is for Back. You figure it out. We're not friends anymore if you don't.

Regardless of the Sentra's FUPA and FBPA, my life does have other updates. Here goes.

Will run in race this weekend. Will not win. Do not care.

Continue to receive monthly doses of menopause in the bum. Have realized that true friendship is perhaps best described by somebody willing to shoot up your ass on a monthly basis. And remember what cheek she hit up last, even when you do not.

Husband continues to be massive sex-pot. Not sure I've mentioned this before. Beginning to believe he may be a waist up nudist. I can (and look forward to doing so) live with this piece of knowledge.

Have become aware that the woods behind my home are infested with wolves, coyotes, and a strange man sporting a blue t-shirt. Perhaps we'll revisit this one at a later date.

No more organic clothing at the office. No more hemp. And devestatingly, no more patchouli. Traded in for Tahari suits and the most decent smelling perfume I could find at TJ's. Thanks, J-Lo. Am wondering if and when my co-workers will realize that I inconspicuously own and wear one single pair of heels each and every day. Aforementioned sexy husband has informed me that it would be "unprofessional" to wear my new favorite Harpoon beer t-shirt to the office on casual Friday, despite the fact that I assure him all co-workers prefer Bud-Diesels (aka, "Rowdies").

Am amazed at the fast pace of life in summer, and by the way lightening and cricket filled nights can take my breath away.