Tuesday, July 15, 2008

infertility, you stupid jerk face.

Beta 3 20dp3dt=15,172

The nurse says I'm "very pregnant." That's gotta be good.

Looking forward to my ultrasound makes me feel like a six year old waiting for Santa, but less patient.

And I have to keep checking with myself to see if it's sunk in yet. (It hasn't). After three years of trying and a lifetime of dreaming, I'm pregnant. I'm embarrassed to admit that almost every day I'm tempted to take another pregnancy test, just to see those two pink lines again and again. And somehow, it's my reaction to that temptation that sums up infertility better than any words I can ever put together. Aside from that first bold day, I haven't taken another at home test...no matter how badly I want to see those two lines. I have a beta of 15,172, and I'm scared of the stupid pee stick.

Infertility, let's break up. I hate your guts, and you have bad breath. You terrify me. Your farts smell like rotting dead skunk.

I refuse to let you define me.

6 comments:

Jilliane said...

Hormones raging?? You go Momma!

Christa said...

Haha You tell that infertilty! I tested like 8 times! I loved to see that pink line, so nice after 6 1/2 years, 5 IUI's and 3 IVF's... Infertility is a stupid jerk face!!

Sades said...

I have to say it still hasn't really hit me yet. Even after 5 months. I know I took 4 tests. I think that is just a part of pregnancy. It doesn't really kick in until you have that little baby(ies) back home and you realize they aren't going anywhere!

WildRose said...

I could not have said it better myself!!! LOL

Kim190381 said...

Get it out...you're pregnant. You are allowed to bitch, wine, moan, eat, lie around on the couch, sleep extra, have people get stuff for you...oh yeah, it's nice! Live it up now.

Just Me. said...

You are funny!

I'm gonna tag you.

I did 3 tests in 2 days!