Monday, May 18, 2009


I think the world would be a better place if we were all more honest sometimes.  I've always thought how much fun things will be once I'm eighty and can just let it all hang out.  And then I decided (and this could be the lack of sleep talking), why wait?  I'm going to put it all out there right now.  Here are some confessions from my early days of motherhood.

1. I often pick my babies noses.  I sometimes drop their boogies on the floor.  Cause hey - I vacuum.

2. I usually don't change my shirt when I get spit up on.  I wait til I'm really drenched.  I do enough laundry already.

3. I'm working my way through a container of Betty Crocker's milk chocolate frosting.  With a spoon.  I started it yesterday and will probably have put it all away by Sunday morning.  

4. Yesterday I discovered a tube of breast milk that got lost in the back of the fridge.  I could not overcome the urge to check it out a bit before dumping it down the drain.  I was shocked to find it was the consistency of pudding.  I was less shocked to find it tasted like the smell of spit up.

5. I swear at night.  A lot.  "Fuck" (and not in the racy sense) is my word of choice.  As in, "It is 3am.  I have not had five fucking minutes of sleep yet."  

6. I sometimes make my husband (who works full time) get up with the babies at night while I (who does not work full time) sleep.

7. Sometimes I leave dirty diapers on the floor for 8+ hours.  They're pretty patient about when I throw them in the dirty diapers bucket.

8. I let my babies take naps on their bellies.  Even though I was a prenatal social worker and KNOW that Back is Best.  But they sleep longer on their bellies.  And I watch them like a hawk.

9. I suck in my stomach all day long.  Received the compliment recently that I have a "rockin' post-baby bod."  Wondering if I should take a tip from myself and just let my gut hang out.  Feel that sucking in may be a disservice to women.  Realize that perhaps, I'm not fooling anyone.

10.  I recently bought a 12 pack of Cherry Dr. Pepper.  This may not seem like a big deal if you do not know me.  So let me start by explaining that this is the first soda I have EVER purchased. I drink organic green tea and water.  I do not drink soda.  Soda is full of HFCS and I am above that. Except for now that there is a 12 pack of soda in my fridge and I love its delicious naughty goodness.

I'm going to stop at ten.  Perhaps I'll share more later.


Jasmine said...

Just want to say I love your blog, its always quite entertaining and well written. However, I am disappointed with your past post, on letting it all hang out. Because, well, it was just not shocking enough, and I know you can do much better.
As the mother of young children (with lots of friends who are also mothers of young children) I can say from experience that many (could I say most?) mothers of infants have done just about all of the things on your list, and many do them habitually.
I hope I'm not sounding too harsh, but lets let it all hang out if we're going to...

Sadie said...

I have to agree with Jaz on this one. However I think it may be best for saving those "letting it all hang out" moments for when we are with close friends and families. 'Cause who knows, you may want or need to go back to work one day and somethings just don't look good on a letter of recommendation.

Daryl said...

I am glad you did not wait til you were 80 to vent/let it all hang out .. OTOH your 'gut' who cares if someone has the balls to say you look whatever.. you had twins and bodies dont snap back, they are not made of elastic. Fuck anyone who says something negative about your bod... its only been 3 months and for fuck's sake it took 9 for it to get all out of shape...

If I were you, the frosting would have been gone the first day ... but the soda not at all, I really dont like the taste of it ... weird, but I prefer water, coffee or wine ... w/my chocolate frosting.

WannabeMommy said...

Nice! I'm all for letting it all hang out. I think I'll undue my top pants button right now... ***AHHH!!***

Parsing Nonsense said...

Oh my goodness, I LOVE me some frosting right out of the can. If I'm feeling particularly depraved I'm start licking the sides of the can too when my spoon's accomplished all it can. Thanks for letting it all hang out, it's nice to know other people have "appalling" behavior too!

Deb said...

I love your honesty and how you write from your heart and have fun with your posts. I think the world would be such an easier place to be if we all took ourselves less seriously. Interesting to note that when I was at your house the other day I couldn't find the frosting and didn't see the soda - good thing, I guess. And when I walk across your carpet I will try not to think about the boogers which are attaching themselves to my socks. Happy Momhood!