Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My vagina: closed for business.

Well, not for ALL business.  If these babies ever allow it, I may have sex again.
But doctorly business?  I'm all set with that.  
After three years of infertility (read: lots of doctorly vagina business) and seven months of pregnancy, I'm done with the stirrups for a while.  
As ridiculous as it seems to consider that I may require contraception, my doctor assured me that I do.  Choosing my form of contraception was a long and thoughtful process for me.  It was also a celebrated process, because hey infertility - look who's calling the shots now!
After much deliberation, I chose a Mirena IUD.  I didn't want something I would have to mess with every day.  I didn't want something that would pump my sweet little babies full of synthetic hormones each time I nursed them.  I did want something that was close to permanent.  I did not want something that actually is permanent.
After many painful fertility treatments, I'm not big on womanly pain.  And since my babies did not travel through my cervix on their way into this world, I thought that perhaps having an IUD shoved through there for the purposes of contraception might be a wee bit uncomfortable.  My doctor, always the honest one, told me to expect three minutes of pain.
Three minutes is a long time.
She told me to take some ibuprofen before coming in for the big event.  I took her advice and took some Vicodin.
And now the Mirena is in.  Three minutes of pain is an accurate analysis.  If I were to describe it in more detail, I might use adjectives like "gut wrenching" or "dear lord is it over yet" pain, but I won't.  Because maybe some of you are considering a Mirena.  
For me, the three minutes were worth it.  Barring anything unexpected (like that ever happens!), my vagina is now closed for all non-routine doctorly business for the next five years. And I kinda like to think that I'm symbolically saying, "infertility?  What?  Who?  Me?  No, no.  I have twin babies.  I require contraception.  It's in my uterus right now, in fact.  All snug and warm. Keeping the nasty infertility away."  And so it is.


Daryl said...

I remember the insertion of the T7 which was painless but about 2 hrs later I had a pain (later learned it was a contraction) that started at the top of my head and worked its way down my body .. causing me to literally sit on the floor (I had been about to put something into the oven's broiler tray)to catch my breath.

That was a LONG time ago... but today (interesting coincidence) I had a GYN appt ... since I had the HP virus before it got its catchy name and shot to prevent it, I also had cervical cancer ... no cervix, no uterus but I still get to go year for the clamp/scape routinely called a PAP smear ... sigh. The good news is doc is running a HPV test to see if the evil still lurks, if it doesnt the PAP portion of our yearly get-together will be discontinued..........

Glad to hear however that you plan on the 'routine' visits nonetheless!

Christa said...

haha I thought for sure I would never ever need birth control... I am considering the Mirena after our baby is born this time.

Parsing Nonsense said...

Yikes, three minutes of gut-wrenching pain sounds like three minutes too many. I have heard other women remark on how strange it seems to hear they need birth control after struggling so long to overcome infertility. Glad you're pleased with your decision, though!

Jilliane said...

Part of me is a little sad that your vagina is closed for business. I thoroughly enjoyed your vagina monologues. Oh....what to do with my time?