Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Human

Some days I have a lot to say.

Today I don't.

Only that motherhood is really, really, hard.

And I feel like I should qualify that statement by reiterating my love for being a mom. And I feel like the fact that I went through infertility somehow means that I'm held to a higher standard with all of it - that I can't complain about the lack of sleep or the days of incessant crying or the guilt that I feel when I don't do it perfectly.

I'm less than perfect at this. And crazy as it sounds, I'm taking that realization really hard.


5 comments:

Parsing Nonsense said...

Yeah, I think there's guilt on both sides of the fertility table. If you have no trouble getting pregnant, there's pressure not to complain about it because others would kill for the chance.

I think parenting is hard, and you have to be free to talk about the highs and the lows without feeling bad. As long as you're taking good care of your children, you're doing great.

amazingk8 said...

So far my parenting philosophy has been "roll with it". Did something good? Roll with it! Baby won't stop crying? Roll with it. You're so tired you can't keep your eyes open? Ask your husband to take care of the kid while you sleep an uniterrupted 8 hours. Because there are limits to what a mantra can do.

I think we're all trying to perfect the wrong thing. No one can perfect parenting but we can try to perfect forgiving ourselves.

amazingk8 said...

So far my parenting philosophy has been "roll with it". Did something good? Roll with it! Baby won't stop crying? Roll with it. You're so tired you can't keep your eyes open? Ask your husband to take care of the kid while you sleep an uniterrupted 8 hours. Because there are limits to what a mantra can do.

I think we're all trying to perfect the wrong thing. No one can perfect parenting but we can try to perfect forgiving ourselves.

Deb said...

Ah. Another powerful, honest post written from the heart. And you are the perfect mom for those babies. You are the perfect wife for your husband. You are the perfect daughter for me. Love you.

Daryl said...

BREATHE and stop being so fucking hard on yourself ... neither life nor babies come with a manual and I suspect if they did, the manual would have originally written in some language that when translated makes no sense.