So. Right now, I am watching as you sit RIGHT NEXT to Mary Murphy as you guest judge on SYTYCD.
Please. Please! I implore and I beg: Punch her in the larynx. America loves you and thinks you are funny. They will think a good solid larynx punch is funny too.
Have courage, Ellen. Millions of desperate Americans are counting on you.
Punch her in the larynx!
A loyal fan.